Flash Fiction: The Fish’s Revolt (565 words)

This is a flash fiction piece I wrote for Chuck Wendig's weekly flash fiction challenge over at Terrible Minds.

The challenge this week was to use this random title generator for inspiration. It gave me a group of five random titles and I decided to go with “The Fish's Revolt.” Hope you enjoy it and feedback is always appreciated.

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Dear sir,

I hope this message finds you in good spirits. Judging by the appliances you have acquired recently, including this wonderful PetMail(R) system, it would seem that you are doing well, at least as financial matters go. That holographic video game system you've been spending so much time with the last few days must have been quite pricey (but fun, I hope!).

I regret to inform you that I have not been doing so well, myself. Things in the bowl are not exactly going swimmingly, if you will pardon the phrase.

You see, although I truly appreciate everything you have done for me in the past, I feel that you have been shirking your obligations to me recently. And while I am reticent to complain, given how admirably you fulfilled those duties in the past, I assume that you installed this pet translator so that I could provide you with feedback on your performance, and not for idle banter. With that in mind, I have decided that it would be best to alert you to a few of my grievances.

The first thing, which you may have noticed, is that the sanitary condition of my bowl is rapidly deteriorating. Or, to put it more bluntly, there is an excess of excrement. I do my best to keep things tidy but I do not have opposable thumbs and cannot wield the proper cleaning utensils. And, as you are undoubtably aware, changing my own water is completely out of the question.

My feeding schedule has also become highly irregular. Early last week you allowed a period of three days to go by without providing me with even one flake of food. I know a lot was happening at the time, what with all the yelling you and the Missis were doing, but you have to understand that this is my life we are talking about. I thought it was going to be the end of me, so you will understand if I seem pushy about this.

The last issue is a comparatively small concern but I thought I should bring it up as long as we are on the subject. I would strongly prefer it if you could spare me that horrible wailing noise you have been producing intermittently in the last few days. It is quite irritating. If you absolutely must do that, please go somewhere else. You don't even look comfortable, all curled up on the couch like that.

I hope you don't find my current disposition to be too gloomy and so I will share with you the one positive development this week brought. That small human, the one who likes to stick its hand in my bowl and swirl it around, creating a sort of hurricane in my home, has not been around recently. The timing has been very fortunate, being that the Missis also appears to be absent and you have been so distracted lately. Nobody would have been around to save me. Things have been quite calm though and, for that at least, I am grateful.

Now that I have provided you with this feedback, I have the utmost confidence that you will remedy the unfortunate issues regarding my bowl and food with all possible speed. I am looking forward to hearing back from you, as well. I will keep at eye on the PetMail(R) for your response.

Your fish,

Gary

 

 

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